Approach
Introductory session
During the introductory session with you as the parent(s) or guardian(s), you can talk about why you are here and we will discuss how I might be able to help you in your particular case.
Follow-up sessions
When there are problems in the relationship between parents and their children and when parents look for ways to solve these problems, patterns may arise in the interaction and communication that may ultimately not promote the wellbeing of either children or parents.
The use of punishment or rewards for example, seems to “work” superficially to solve a problem, but on a deeper level something else happens. When children experience feelings of fear, guilt or shame, certain needs go unmet and the tie between parents and children may suffer. The wellbeing of the children is obviously not promoted in this way, but neither is the wellbeing of the parents. When parents think about their children in terms of right/wrong or normal/abnormal, they also ignore their own underlying psychological needs.
In the sessions I will help you to communicate with your child in a compassionate way. This means that I help you to become aware of your feelings and needs and how to express them without invoking fear, guilt or shame in your child. By articulating your needs and by making requests instead of demands, your child will hear your sincerity. Children react to this strongly. I will also help you to listen to the feelings and needs of your child. This approach will result in a genuine contact with yourself and your child. Solutions often appear spontaneously.
Duration
Changing patterns is a process. The number of sessions people need before they can continue by themselves is different for everyone. Sometimes a single session may suffice. Mostly, the duration of my assistance ranges from 4 to 8 sessions.